This happens to me at least once a week, EVERY FREAKING WEEK. 


I'm driving down the highway and 500 feet before the exit, someone driving just behind me will pass me on the left, then immediately cut back over to the right and get directly in front of me, then slow down to get off the exit on the right. 


To these people, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's not like I'm doing 45 mph and we're several miles before the exit. I'm doing 65 and the exit is 500 feet ahead and you can't match my speed behind me for two seconds before you slow down to get off at the exit? 


What is the major malfunction of these numbnuts?!?    

http://www.hark.com/clips/jbdlljhhxz-what-is-your-major-malfunction-numbnuts

It's official: I am fat!

How do I know? Because Express for Men doesn't carry my size anymore.

Let me explain how we got to my sad state. About eight or nine years ago, I starting shopping at Structure. They had fashionable, reasonably priced wear that made me look rather dapper. I signed up for their credit card and they sent me coupons every few months. All was well for a long time.

Well, sometime a few years ago, Structure morphed into Express. Now the latter is notorious for carrying only women's close for waifish types. Are you a size zero woman? They've got you covered. Size 14 or greater? Sorry, you're out of luck, fattie.

So a few months ago I stroll into Express for Men and can't find anything in my size (waist 38) So I go back there today and it's the same deal. I talk to the manager and she tells me that they won't be carrying anything greater than a 36 waist anymore.

Now I'm not the model of fitness, but ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!? A size 38 waist isn't even that overweight! That is ridiculous!

I estimate they will lose somewhere between one quarter to half their sales from this. How can this possibly be a good business decision? If they are going to rest their business hopes solely on high school and thin college kids, they are in for a rude awakening.

I told the manager that I wouldn't be shopping at Express anymore. I canceled my Platinum Card.

Old Navy, here I come!

Rebirth of the Coward

The Internet is for cowards.

I am convinced of this. As many of you know, I post on a lot of jamband and disc golf message boards. I really enjoy sharing ideas with people around the country and the world.

However, the dawn of the communication age has given way to the rebirth of the coward.

People use the internet to say things they normally wouldn't say in real life, because there are no repercussions on the internet. I've seen it happen a thousand times. People say truly nasty and hateful things because they can easily hide behind thier computer screens. Moderators are loathe to punish anyone, and people know they can easily register a new account or get a new e-mail address in that eventuality. To date, there's been no foolproof way to keep people from circumventing the rules.

What happened to the good old days, where people would confront each other between classes, at the party, at the bar, etc. if they had something to say to each other?

It's just words on a screen, you say. Get some balls, you say. I say that the bigger man is the one who stands behind his comments, not the guy who can ignore anonymous trolls.

If and when we eventually have microchips planted in every baby, I hope that generation's internet requires a scan before use so that people are held responsible for their comments.

Me? I sign my name on every single post.

Welcome!

Well, here is my first post. I was inspired by one of my good friends Mike creating his own blog and thought I would do the same. He and I are both known for some pretty wild rants in the past, so maybe this blog thing will give us both a cathartic outlet for our anger managment issues. :-)

I can't guarantee that any of this will be entertaining, that it will be reguarly updated, or any of that. I'm sure I'll hear from some of you on whether this was something highly entertaining that made their day, or five minutes of their life which they'll never get back.

You were forewarned.